Simple Self-Defense
"You have a rape whistle? I don't. I don't even have pepper spray. I just have mad Tae Kwon Do skills so whenever a thug approaches me, I get into my karate stance and go, 'You want a piece of this?'...
View ArticleNerd Squad Alert
"Keep you and your nerd squad on the other side of the street!" -Zack, keeping the peace during a house party
View ArticleNursing Sucks
Random Girl: I wouldn't go into nursing because I couldn't stand the blood. Mark: The blood; the boogers; the poop; that isn't the worst part of being a nurse. Will: Yeah, the worst part is being...
View ArticlePay No Small Mind
KR: Not numbers, words please. I can't listen to more than one voice at a time. AB: That's because your mind is small. KR: That's true but irrelevant. -On inadvertent admissions to one's own shortcomings
View ArticleTitty Teaser
Alan: Two triangles make a square. Daniel: Then what does two circles make? Tuan: Boobies. -Taking geometry to a minimum
View ArticleWhat is Condensed Milk?
Chemistry Professor: So when a gas turns back into a liquid, that's condensation. Student: Then what's condensed milk? -On solid questions
View ArticlePenis Aversion Day
"Everything with a penis is pissing me off today. If you have a penis, don't talk to me." -Random girl, overheard in the dorm hallway
View ArticleComparing Boobs and Ass
"They're like apples and oranges. Both round and awesome, but totally different." -Zane, on boobs and bums
View ArticleSlippery Chicken Hands
"How do you pick up a chicken by grabbing it?" -Aaron, sleep-pondering the REAL questions
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